The Adventures of Better Mom

Is Living On One Income Possible?

2011-06-17T12:45:00.000-07:00

Being a Stay at Home Mom is an interesting endeavor. I have gotten praise for doing “the hardest job in the world” and ridicule for being “just a mom.” In reality, neither of those characterizations is fair. Anybody who classifies running a house and raising a child as being “just a mom” or “not a real job” has clearly never tried it. In my experience, odds are they are also a jerk, so this type of comment tends to put one on my People To Avoid list. On the other hand, I am certain that there are quite a few jobs that are harder than staying at home to raise my own offspring.

The choice to stay at home is a very personal one with a lot of factors, and every parent has to make that choice for themselves. I can only speak on my own choices. I never really had a huge amount of career ambition, but I always wanted a family, and I didn’t see the point in paying somebody else to raise my children. I am sure that stay at home parenting is not the right choice for everybody, and that’s fine.

What I do want to address is the myth that you have to have two incomes to raise a family these days. Now, I don’t mean that EVERYONE can get by on one income, or that even if you can, that you should. My point is that in a lot of cases, having one parent stay home with the kids is an option, if you want it.

When people hear that I stay at home, a common question is, “Wow, what does your husband do that allows you to be so lucky?” When they hear that my husband is a teacher, people are always surprised that we can get by on such a “meager income.” His paychecks are $3800 a month after deductions (not really meager at all.) We pay $1600 a month toward debt payments. So, we actually live on $2200 a month. I have a friend who, until a recent job promotion, was getting by on significantly less than our $2200 a month. We have enough money to pay the utilities, rent (which is admittedly low) and put food on the table. We even have enough to have an occasional night out. What we can’t afford is to go out of town every weekend, go out to eat every night, or buy new décor every few months. I often think about what we could do with that $1600 a month, if we hadn’t racked up all of this stupid debt, but if we can stay on track, we will be able to answer that question in a year or two!

Of course, if you have debt, it will add to the amount of money you need to make ends meet every month, but even with debt, you might be better off with one parent home. We considered having me go back to work to help pay off our debt, but for our family, that would almost cost us money. I have been out of the work force for over a decade, and when I worked I did serving and retail jobs, which don’t pay a lot. Presuming I could even find a job, I would likely get minimum wage. If I worked full time, we would have to pay for child care, if I worked nights, we would save on child care, but I would be tired (and crabby) and wouldn’t have as much time to do a lot of the money saving things I have been doing. For my family, the money we save by cooking at home, making our bread and cleaning supplies and other things is more beneficial than the small paycheck I would get if I had a “real job.”

In order for me to stay home with the kids, we have sacrificed a lot of things that many families consider important, like cable TV. We don’t have the latest gadgets or electronics and we don’t go on a lot of vacations. We decided that these things were less important than having me home with the kids. There is no magic solution that allows one parent to stay home and still allows for all of the luxuries (unless, the other parent has a very high paying job.) Choices will have to be made, and in most cases living on one income will involve sacrifices. If having a parent at home is something you desire, it is worth really crunching the numbers, seeing what you could live without, and then deciding if those sacrifices are worth it for your family.

It Is Actually Happening!

2011-05-24T11:41:00.000-07:00

We get paid on the last business day of each month. Getting a paycheck only once a month was tough, at first, because if money runs low, there is no more coming in a couple of weeks later. On the other hand, it makes budgeting a lot easier, and we don’t have to juggle which paycheck will cover which bills. During the first week of each month, I update Quicken for all of our various accounts. This month I was updating balances in our debt reduction plan and I looked back to this time last year.

We spent a lot of time in the last year feeling frustrated because it seemed like the balances never went down. Well, I am happy to report that despite that frustration, we have eliminated $12,000 in debt in the last year! I believe the true total of what we paid off is actually $19,600 because we had financed a few things that were not included in last year’s totals. Some of what we financed was what we consider necessary, like vet bills, some was justifiable, like my stand mixer that allows me to make all of our bread, and some of it was just frivolous, like tickets to a show.

So, despite a significant amount of slip ups in our plan, we have lowered our total debt by a very large chunk in just one year! It can actually be done, even on one income, even with four kids. If you are trying to pay off debt, don’t get discouraged if your balances don’t seem to be going down. If you make a mistake and purchase something you shouldn’t, don’t give up. It really can be done, and you don’t have to be perfect, or live Little House on the Prairie style to do it.

Happy Mother's Day!

2011-05-08T12:16:00.000-07:00

While I fully acknowledge that Mother’s Day is essentially a contrived Hallmark holiday, and that good mothers should receive thanks and appreciation every day, I still love Mother’s Day morning.

This morning I awoke to the kids doing their Sunday chores early so that the rest of the day would be free to do whatever I wanted. Seriously, the chore charts are really helping, I highly recommend them! Mike went and got donuts (at my request, he wasn’t being lazy) and helped keep the kids focused on their jobs. At breakfast, I was showered with the wonderful things the kids made for me at school. Actually, Miriam gave me her gift the second she got off of the bus on Friday, but she re-presented them this morning.


Mom's Day loot!

Pot decoration from my oldest

Mike went out to trim the hedges and mow the lawn and Olivia brought me some of the clippings as a flower bouquet, which you can see in the vase with Miriam’s hand print flowers.

As an added bonus, I looked at the garden to find that our artichokes are coming in!

Check out the free and all natural pest control!

Later, I will be going to my mom’s for a bit. Her gift this year is that I am finally transferring all of the kids’ and grand kids’ height marks from the hallway at my house (my childhood home) to her new house.

I hope all of the great moms are having a good day, and that your kids give you one day of NOT reminding you why some animals eat their young.

Shocking May Challenge Update!

2011-05-02T12:13:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the first day of the kids' new responsibilities. We kept our expectations pretty low because the kids had a sitter and we weren't home most of the day to supervise. Last week I talked to the kids about needing their help around the house, and let them know about the new chore charts. Before we left on Sunday morning, we reminded them that they had chores to do and we expected them to by the time we got home. If the chores didn't get done, they would have to finish them in the evening, and there would be no TV for that child the next day. When we got home, all of the chores were done! Since we weren't there to show Miriam how to empty all the trash cans, Noah did it for her (it used to be his job) and then had Miriam and Olivia help him clean the living room. That's right, my seven year old son did an extra chore to make sure it got done.

I have been a mom long enough to know that this success is in no way a guarantee that next week will go so smoothly, but it is nice to know that they can actually do it. Now, if they struggle one week I don't have to question whether they are capable of doing the chores I assigned. It gives me hope!

May Challenge-Getting the kids to help!

2011-04-29T10:38:00.000-07:00

So, April’s challenges didn’t go so well. I pretty much failed at all of them. I did mostly keep up with my original March goals, but even that doesn’t feel like an accomplishment. It just seems like no matter what I do, it doesn’t last long. I don’t want to get too far into pity party mode here, but there are literally times when I clean a room and then leave it for a minute, and when I come back, there is a whole new mess. It just feels so futile, like no matter what I do, it won’t make a difference. It makes me want to just give up, I mean, what’s the point of just treading water all of the time?

Then I realize that giving up certainly isn’t going to solve anything, but if my family isn’t helping, there is NO way I am ever going to be able to get the house in order. Getting the kids on board is not going to be easy. They have bad habits too, and changing their habits is going to take a lot of effort, both from the kids and from my husband and I. This is my May challenge, to get the kids to pull their weight.

A friend of mine made a chore chart for her three kids, and has had a lot of success with that. She has broken the house into three areas, and her kids rotate through the jobs, so that they aren’t doing the same job every day. If one of the kids doesn’t do their chore one day, the next day they have to do the previous day’s chore and the current day’s chore, which means one of their siblings doesn’t have to do a chore that day.

Initially, I thought I could use her system with a few minor adjustments. It became obvious pretty quickly that her chart, while great for her kids ages 12, 11, and 9, would not work for my kids ages 10, 7, 6, and 3. I need to assign specific chores to each child based on age and ability. What I could borrow from her, however, was the idea that failure to complete chores would result in clear, consistent consequences.

I have made 3 checklists for the kids:

The Morning/Bedtime list for the tasks they have to do to get ready for school and get ready for bed.

The After School list has their daily chores and tasks.

The Sunday list has their bigger once a week chores, including step by step lists for each of those chores.

The lists are color coded so the kids can identify their own list easily, also because I am really anal retentive about things that don’t matter.I printed them out and put each one in a sheet protector so that they can use a china marker to check off the list each day, and then it can be wiped off and used again. There is an extra copy of each kids' Sunday chores in their room, so that they can see what they need to do without fighting over the list.

The kids’ role in this challenge is, of course to do the items on their lists. My (and my husband’s) role is to remind them to do their chores, as many times as necessary, without yelling, and to establish a set routine to keep things consistent. I, of course, have to remember that even though it might be quicker, easier, and done better if I do it myself, they have to learn how to help out around the house. This will be a particularly tricky challenge, because I have enough trouble motivating myself, and now I have to motivate 4 other people, BUT, if I can succeed the reward will be great.

Long Term Goals

2011-04-11T10:12:00.000-07:00

The whole reason we started working on getting out of debt was because we really want to be able to own a home. When we first got married, house prices were pretty low, but my husband’s job was not very secure. He was teaching, but he was on an emergency credential which meant that he was almost guaranteed to be laid off at the end of every school year. We didn’t want to commit to a mortgage when we didn’t know what our income would be like in a year or so. Once he was finally fully credentialed, we didn’t even consider trying to buy, because the house prices in our area were so ridiculously over inflated. We were starting to feel like we would never be home owners. Fortunately for us (but unfortunately for many recent home buyers,) the housing bubble burst and prices started coming down. Unfortunately, home ownership had seemed so out of reach for so long, we had not been preparing for it. We had too much debt and no savings. The down side for us of the bubble bursting is that home loans are much harder to come by now. Your credit has to be good, not just OK, and there is practically no such thing as 100% financing anymore. I knew what we had to do, we just hadn’t actually been doing it. When we got serious about getting out of debt, I started this blog.

It was really frustrating at first. We were paying well over the minimum payment on our highest rate debt, and paying the minimum or just a little over the minimum on everything else. The balances never seemed to go down. When we would make some headway, the car would break down or some other expense would set us back. We were still relying on our credit cards too often. On top of that, our debt reduction plan included a program to pay off student loans for teachers who work in low income schools. If we got the loan paid down to $17,500, the program would pay off the rest, once my husband finished his 5^th year teaching at a qualifying school. This year is my husband’s 7^th at his current school, and his 5^th as a fully credentialed teacher at that school, so come June, the rest of his student loan would be paid off. Or so we thought. When Mike applied for forbearance on his remaining loan so that we could apply that payment elsewhere while we waited for his anniversary date to roll around, we were told that he did not qualify for the program because his first student loan was issued 6 days before the window for this program began. Six stupid days. In the three years that we had been communicating with them while we paid his debt down to below the $17,500 cut off, no one at this program had ever bothered to mention that we didn’t qualify. We had been counting on that debt to essentially eliminate itself, and now we would be paying it off ourselves. It was a big blow to our morale.

Things got a bit better when I checked in on a Gifttrust I had. We decided to cash it out, and it gave us almost $3000 extra. Instead of using the money to buy things we wanted, we set some aside to get our van fixed because it was having some issues, put $1000 into our savings account so that future unexpected expenses wouldn’t have to be charged, and sent $1200 to our highest rate card. Having that emergency fund really, really helps. Now I know that we can get the car fixed or whatever without making our debt situation worse.

We just got done filing our taxes and we are expecting a nice refund. Even before the return was filed, we had already virtually spent pretty much all of it. We will replenish our emergency fund, and but an extra $500 in it, to make it a total of $1500. Some of it will be used for Mike to be able to attend his sister’s wedding in Texas. A large chunk of it will be used to pay off a credit card. A couple of hundred dollars will be set aside for me to attend a Women’s retreat in October. If there is anything left after that, it will be applied to the debt as well. After we figured all of that out, I took a fresh look at our debt reduction plan. If we are able to stay on track, we will be completely free of credit card debt by October. That still leaves us with Mike’s student loan, and another loan that is the result of a previous attempt at debt consolidation, but all of the really bad, higher interest, and rechargeable stuff will be gone.

Originally, our plan was to completely pay off all of the debt, and then start saving for a down payment, and THEN buy a house. After our car got broken into twice in 2 months, we realized we have to get out of this neighborhood as soon as we can. It was once a great neighborhood, but has been steadily declining for years. Now, sirens and the sounds of the police helicopter are normal, and we need to get out before it gets much worse. Using a bit of online research, I found that even with those last two debts, we will be in a pretty good position to get a home loan once the credit cards are paid. That is, if we can come up with a down payment. In order to speed up our timeline, we have decided that in October, when the credit cards are paid off, instead of applying that payment to the next debt, we are going to put it into savings for a down payment. We will continue to pay the minimum payments (or slightly more) on the remaining two debts, but we won’t be paying extra until we have accumulated a good down payment. Our tax refund for next year (if we receive one) will also go towards a down payment. If we are able to stay on track, we should hopefully be ready to start buying a house in a year. Our goal is to be moving by early summer 2012.

Challenge 2-Week 1

2011-03-28T10:56:00.000-07:00

This week I did fine on my new challenge areas, but my challenge items from last month were a big FAIL. It was Spring Break, which meant that all 4 kids and the husband were home with me all week. The usual schedule was out the window. I slept in, I went several days without doing any laundry, and I barely set foot in the kitchen. Fortunately, I was able to get caught up by the end of the week, so I was able to start today on track.

Since the week was pretty much a wash, I have decided to extend this challenge through the end of April. This way, my challenges will begin on the 1st of the month and finish on the last day of the month. In addition to extending my challenge, I have decided to add another item to my April challenge list. I decided that I needed more focus on the organizing/cleaning for this month. Each day I will clear the clutter off of one area of my front rooms. Like with the laundry, I have designated a specific day to each area. After this first week, it should be a really quick job to get it back to tidy.

Monday-Homework Center
Tuesday-Small side counter and coupon/ad and menu pockets
Wednesday- Hutch
Thursday-Bookcase
Friday-Long kitchen counter

These are the primary clutter catchers in the front part of the house. Mail, purse, keys, backpacks etc all get piled on one of these surfaces, so they are a great place to start.

Laundry Tips and Tricks

2011-03-24T11:56:00.000-07:00

Laundry is one of my most hated household chores. There are 6 of us in the house, and the two youngest still have occasional potty accidents, so sometimes they can go through more than one outfit a day. The laundry can pile up very, very quickly. When it would get really out of control, we would spend a whole day doing load after load of laundry. We would get so fixated on washing the clothes, we wouldn’t be folding or putting the clothes away. Now instead of a huge mountain of dirty clothes, we would have a huge mountain of clean but wrinkled, and un-sorted clothes, which is better, I guess…sort of.

Staying on top of it all

When I started my One Month Challenge last month, I put doing a load of laundry on my daily task list. In order to make sure everybody has the right clothes when they need them, I went a step further and made a schedule based on what days the kids have or don’t have after school activities, so that their laundry gets done on a day that they are home after school to put it away.

For our house, this means:

Monday: Noah

Tuesday: Mimi and Olivia-they share a room, a hamper, and often their clothes, so they share a laundry day too.

Wed: Linens

Thursday: Lorraine

Friday: Mom and Dad

Saturday: no laundry

Sunday: Catch up-for when there is an extra load or two that didn’t get done.

For the past month, this has worked really well. The older kids never run out of uniforms, we don’t run out of towels and Mike always has appropriate work clothes available. This system also makes the folding and putting away easier, since everything in the basket goes to the same place. My kids don’t have many white clothes, but what they do have, I tend to set aside to add to the larger whites load on Friday.

Homemade Laundry Detergent

To save money, I make my own laundry soap. It only takes me about 20 minutes to make a batch that lasts us about two months. That two month supply costs maybe $2.00. All of the ingredients are found in the laundry detergent aisle. Sometimes the washing soda and soap can be hard to find. I only know of one store in our area that carries washing soda, but they are also available online. I started with the recipe from LivingOnADime.com, but I have since altered it a little to work better for my kids’ stains.

Homemade Laundry Detergent

6 C Water

½ bar Fels Naptha soap, grated

½ C Arm & Hammer Washing Soda (not baking soda)

¾ C Borax

Heat water and grated soap in a large pan until the soap is fully dissolved. Stir in the remaining ingredients. Heat until powders are fully dissolved, stirring frequently. Keep a close eye on it because it tends to boil over (although, the spilled solution does a pretty good job of cleaning the stove top.) Once completely dissolved, boil for 15 minutes. Remove from heat. The mixture should have a honey like consistency. Place one quart of hot water into a 3-5 gallon bucket. Add soap mixture, and then enough cold water to make 2 gallons. . (Before my first batch, I measured 2 gallons of water into my bucket, and marked the level with a permanent marker.) Mix well. Let stand for 24 hours.* Solution will gel up.

To use, stir well and use ½ cup per load.

If it doesn’t reach honey consistency, or gel up, it will still work. It will not suds up.

*This detergent will separate, so it must be stirred before each use. Pour it into liquid detergent bottles before letting it stand, and then just shake it up before each use (Be sure to leave some space at the top for shaking.)

We saved ½ gallon plastic Pace picante sauce bottles to store ours in, any fairly thick plastic bottle with a handle will work fine.

Stain Removal

Speaking of stains, I don’t buy commercial stain treater anymore, so here are some things I use to deal with various stains on clothes:

SAFETY DISCLAIMER: Most people know not to mix bleach with ammonia, but it is also dangerous to mix bleach with vinegar and lemon juice, so do not add bleach to a load using any of those items. As a rule, do not mix bleach with anything but water.

I have not tried some of these tips, they are compiled from around the internet.

Ammonia is not recommended for very delicate fabrics or fabrics with latex in them, because it will dissolve the latex.

ALL PURPOSE wet a bar of Fels Naptha soap and rub the bar directly on the stain. This works particularly well on grease stains, and is very economical. One bar of soap has lasted me over a year.

BLOOD Hydrogen Peroxide or baking soda paste+

CAR GREASE dishwashing soap

CRAYON WD40 let sit for 3-5 min, Rinse, treat with dishwashing liquid, Rinse, use stain pre-treater

GRASS Hydrogen Peroxide

GUM hot vinegar, set 1-2 min then scrape or freeze then chip off

INK Rubbing Alcohol or hairspray

RING AROUND THE COLLAR Rub shampoo into stain, launder as usual

SKUNK pre wash in skunk smell solution*, then launder as usual

SWEAT pre treat with white vinegar, or baking soda paste

OLD- 1:1:1 solution of baking soda peroxide and water let sit for 30 min

1 Cup white vinegar in machine, soak 30 min

WAX scrape off excess wax then pour boiling water over spot

+BAKING SODA PASTE 6Tbsp baking soda with ½ cup water

*SKUNK SMELL SOLUTION 2 cups hydrogen peroxide, 8 oz baking soda, a couple of squirts dishwashing liquid and a gallon of water

To make clothes wash more easily, soak overnight in a 1 Tbsp Ammonia to 1 Gal water or use ¼ cup Ammonia for a full washer.

Challenge Update

2011-03-21T11:39:00.000-07:00

Week one went really well. I met my goals each day and was really thinking this was going to be easier than I thought, until...

Week two arrived. The second week it was a bit tougher to get out of bed in the morning. I still managed, but it took a lot of self convincing each day. I still met my goals everyday, so yay me!

Week three was a mess. On Monday, our Rabbi and friend passed away suddenly, and it hit the entire family very hard. I managed to keep up on Monday, but I didn’t do any laundry or dishes the rest of the week. I did manage to get up on (or almost on) time each day, got dressed, and the kids’ lunches got made each night with the exception of the night following the funeral, but that was about it. Fortunately, since I had been keeping up with laundry the previous two weeks, there wasn’t too big of a mountain. My husband got the laundry caught up on the weekend while I was out selling cookies with my Girl Scout troop, so I was able to start the last week on track.

Week four was not as off as the previous week, but I still didn’t get fully back on track. We lost another family friend this week, so I wasn’t in a very gung-ho kinda mood. Laundry got done, but it didn’t always get folded and put away properly. The dishwasher mostly got emptied, but sometimes I had the kids do it afterschool. The good thing about all of this is, I am still motivated to keep going. In the past, after losing ground like this, I would just quit. But I am not going to quit this time. Today is the last day of my challenge, and I am on track to meet all of my goals for the day.

Overall, I think my challenge went well. I am waking up at 6am every morning, even on the weekends. Today I was even the first one awake in the house! Even my bad days are more productive than they used to be, due in part to getting dressed in the morning. The laundry is under control, and even when I slip up, it doesn’t take much to get it back on track.

Now that I have finished my first challenge, I hope to add 5 new things to do/change each month. My next goals are more self improvement focused, rather than household focused. In addition to keeping up with my previous goals, I want to:

No nail biting. I have had this terrible habit for as long as I can remember. I am in a wedding in July and would like my hands to look like they belong to a female without having to pay big bucks for acrylics.

Portion control. I want to keep my meals down to something that could reasonably be called a single serving, and stop eating out of boredom, especially right before bed.

Put my clothes in the hamper as soon as I take them off. I tend to just drop them on the floor outside the bathroom or next to the bed with the intention of putting them in the hamper in the morning, but that rarely happens.

No dining out. Well, with one exception. We have tickets to a show in April, and we are likely going to meet up with friends before or after, so I am allowing for dining out that one day. Even though I am making an exception, we are going to eat at home before the show, so that any dining out can be a small snack, or just a drink. We don’t go out much, but it always seems to happen more than we planned.

Work on this blog more. I am challenging myself to work on Better Mom for 15 minutes a day, even if it is just coming up with post ideas.

Online Money Earners

2011-03-15T15:04:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of Mom written frugal blogs that have a post or six about making money on the internet. I have read several that talk about replacing their paycheck with various paid surveys and such. I have tried many of these sites and I have certainly not generated anything resembling a paycheck I would get from a job. This is largely because some of them give you the big rewards for referrals, of which I get none. There are, however, a couple of sites that have generated some noteworthy bonus cash.

InboxDollars-Sign up and read the emails that they send to your InboxDollars account (they don’t fill up your regular email box) and earn $0.03 each. Sometimes they send you invites to answer surveys which, if you qualify for, can earn $0.50-$2.00. In addition, you can earn a percentage of some online purchases, or for signing up at other sites. When you accrue $30.00 you can request a check. Your first check takes about a month or two to arrive in the mail, but subsequent checks are processed in a week. I signed up for InboxDollars in the summer of 2010 and I have received one check for $40.12. I requested the check on September 10, and it arrived in early November. I currently have $25.66 earned, so I am close to requesting another check.

I don’t spend a lot of time using InboxDollars, and will sometimes not check those emails for long periods of time. Considering what little I put into it, I think it is a nice little bonus. They even give you $5 to start when you sign up. Interested? Click the banner below

Swag Bucks-Download the toolbar and you can earn Swagbucks for internet searches. Like InBox Dollars, you can also earn for surveys, online shopping and several other ways. They frequently release codes worth various amounts of SB, and sometimes they have a code hunt where they give you clues and you have to go find the code. The code hunts can be really fun or really frustrating, depending on the day and the value of the code. The Swagbucks can be redeemed for a large variety of prizes including gift cards. I cash all of my Swagbucks in for Amazon.com gift cards so that I can buy whatever I want on Amazon. Since April 18, 2010 I have redeemed $80 in Amazon gift cards which I have used to purchase household items, and gifts. Click the banner to sign up.

One Month Challenge

2011-02-22T14:03:00.000-08:00

It has been a little more than a year since I started this blog and nearly two years since I began my journey. I haven’t updated as often as I would like, but that doesn’t mean that I haven’t been making progress. Things are much better than they were when I first began. The house is in better shape, our finances are in much better shape (off the top of my head, I can’t remember the last time we had an overdraft) and there is some semblance of a schedule around here.

The progress I have made is great, but I had really hoped to be further along by now. I often have a really good day or two where I get tons done around the house, but then if I slip up even a little bit, everything seems to fall apart and I have to start over from square one. In addition to that, it often feels like the more I get organized and cleaned, the harder my youngest works to undo everything I have accomplished! It can be very frustrating.

I have read, from several sources, that it takes 21 days to form a habit. Since breaking a bad habit usually involves replacing it with a good one, I figure it takes 21 days to break a bad habit as well. I have been thinking about this a lot lately because I have many bad habits I need to replace with good ones. I keep waiting for a good time to start a 21 day challenge for myself. Of course, a “good time” never really comes, so I can sit around and not change anything, while pretending that thinking about it counts for something. Now is as good a time to begin as any, so created a challenge for myself.

I have made a short list of five simple habits I would like to have, and starting Tuesday, February 22(today), I am going to do those 5 things every school day for one full month. I went with a month instead of 21 days because the habits I am trying to create or improve are mostly school day or school night specific, so they don’t really apply on the weekends.

My five goals for each day are:

Get up at 6am. I currently get up just before 7am which gives me just enough time to do my kindergartner’s hair before she gets on the bus to school. She gets dressed and has breakfast with her dad, but he can’t do hair. If I get up an hour earlier, I can spend a little time with my husband before he has to leave for work, and I can have a full cup of coffee before I have to wake the older kids to get ready for school.

Get dressed right away. There are many days where I drop the kids off at school while wearing pajamas. (I don’t get out of the car, so nobody sees me.) I usually manage to put some kind of real clothes on by the time I get my kindergartner off the bus, but spending the day in pajamas sends my brain the message that the day hasn’t started yet. I am hoping that getting dressed first thing in the morning will help me have more productive days.

Do a load of laundry. Laundry is probably my least favorite household chore, and with 4 kids, it piles up really fast. If I do a little bit everyday will really help keep it from getting overwhelming.

Empty the dishwasher. I already do this a lot, but not daily, and having a place to put the day’s dishes keeps them from piling up.

Make the kids’ lunches while I make dinner. My kids take their lunch to school every day. I try to make them the night before, so that there isn’t a rush to do it in the morning. The problem is, sometimes I get so tired, I skip it. When I make dinner, I am in the kitchen anyway, so it is a great time to make the lunches, and then I don’t have to worry about forgetting, or getting too tired later in the evening.

When I originally decided to do this challenge, I thought, “Hey, if this works out, I can blog about it” but after a while I realized, that putting it out there and letting people (all 3 if them that read my blog) know what I am trying to do will help remind me to stay on track.

Needs vs. Wants

2010-09-28T14:16:00.000-07:00

Many years ago, I had a neighbor who would come over every month to use our phone so she could call the phone company and get her phone turned back on. Each time, she was in a panic because her husband was in the military and was required to have a working phone at home, so she was afraid that he would get reprimanded if his commanding officer tried to contact him before the phone company got it switched back on. This same neighbor would get take-out food several times a week, and always had cable service with premium channels. Somehow, I never really felt sorry for her when she would regale me with tales of their financial woes.

As I have mentioned once or twice, saving money, whether you need to reduce your debt, save for a large purchase, or just live within a small budget, really just comes down to determining needs versus wants. A person’s basic needs come down to food, water, shelter and clothing. I could survive by eating rice and beans, drinking only water, having only 2 or so outfits to wear, and living in a one room shelter. I’m not saying it would be a fabulous existence, but it could be done. With that in mind, almost everything I own is a luxury. For me, the realization that I have so many things that I don’t truly need, helps me deal when I can’t afford to buy something I want.

We live in a society that puts a high value on material possessions. We are bombarded by advertisements that try to convince us of all the luxuries that we need. The truth of the matter is that the vast majority of us don’t need any of these things. Nobody needs a high definition television. Nobody needs a television at all. If you are trying to pay off debt, you do need to control your spending.

For me, a few luxuries make the other sacrifices easier to swallow. It comes down to deciding which luxuries are worth it, and which ones aren’t. For example, I don’t need a high speed wireless internet connection in my home. It is very nice to have, and it allows my husband to do some of his work at home, and allows me to have this blog, so we decided that a broadband connection was worth the expense for us. It would also be nice to be able to access the internet from my cell phone. I could find the cheapest gas prices nearby and get driving directions when I lose my way. In the end, I spend most of my time in my house, and I don’t travel to places I am not familiar with very often, so I couldn’t justify the expense of a data package for my phone.

Which expenses are worth it for you, depends on your particular financial situation. If you are only making minimum payments on your debt, and you have trouble buying food and paying utilities every month, then you really have no business spending $60 a month on satellite television service. On the other hand, if you have and are following a debt reduction plan and can comfortably pay all of your bills, spending $20 a month on a Netflix subscription can make it a lot more tolerable to skip that movie night or dinner out.

I have found that many of the luxuries that we cut out of our budget we have been able to replace with less expensive alternatives that are almost as good, or sometimes even better. The more your expenses exceed your income, the more things you need to cut. It isn’t always easy and it isn’t particularly fun, but neither is being $40,000 in debt (and that does not include a mortgage!)

Excuses, Excuses

2010-08-26T22:33:00.000-07:00

Since I have started to try to live more frugally, I have had a few conversations with friends and family about financial struggles. One thing I have noticed is that no matter what our individual situation entails, it seems there are 2 possible solutions. If your income isn’t enough to cover your expenses you either need to find more income, or reduce expenses. Going out and finding a 2^nd job or a higher paid position isn’t that easy these days, but I don’t personally know anybody who doesn’t have at least some areas of their budget that they can reduce.

For me, as well as most people I talk to, getting started on making better financial decisions isn’t always easy. Sometimes, making excuses for why we can’t stop frivolous spending can be all too easy. Here are some of the excuses I have heard, or have, at some point, tried to use myself.

It was such a good deal.

While it can be a good idea to stock up on things you need when they are on sale, buying things that you do not need is a waste of money, no matter how much of a “good deal” it is.

My self esteem is tied up in getting my hair done, pedicure, manicure etc.

First of all, I believe that true self esteem comes from being proud of who you are, and what you do, rather than from how you look. While a new outfit, or hair-do can give you a temporary mood boost, that will fade, and if you aren’t happy with the person that you are, that outfit isn’t going to fix that. I often struggle with self esteem issues, and have turned to retail therapy to make myself feel better. The thing about it is, when the end of the month rolls around and we don’t have the money to pay that bill I forgot about, or to buy that box of diapers that we need, suddenly those retail therapy purchases don’t make me feel so good.

What does make me feel good is getting all the way through the month without accidentally overdrawing our checking account, or sending one of our credit cards an extra payment. Sure, it isn’t as glamorous as a pedicure in the short run, but in the long run living within our means is helping my kids learn to be financially responsible, and is helping my family move toward home ownership.

Why should I cut back on this when you spend on that?

When one spouse uses the other spouse’s financial missteps to justify their own, it can wreak havoc on a budget. Saying “well, she bought that new dress, so I can buy this new phone” is a lot like misplacing ten dollars and using that to justify throwing another ten in the trash. It can be tough when backslides happen, but instead of deciding to backslide further, learn from your mistakes and keep moving forward.

When spouses aren’t on the same page about their financial situation, it can be even harder to get your debt and spending under control. I am a stay at home mom, so my husband is the sole wage earner for our family. However, I am the one who pays the bills and balances the checkbook. If I didn’t talk to my husband about our finances (and if he never asked,) he would be mostly clueless about our debt situation. If your spouse doesn’t see the need to save money and get out of debt, you have to show them the reality of the situation. Write out a monthly budget to let your spouse see exactly how much income you have, and how much you spend each month. You might want to point out areas of spending that could be reduced. If your spouse is resistant to cutting back, don’t expect them to be willing to cut out all of their luxuries at once. Even stretching out the time between haircuts for one extra week will help cut costs. If you and your spouse have been in the habit of using each other as an excuse to spend excessively, you may need to present cuts in a format of, if you give up this, I will give up that. Hopefully having the numbers laid out in a calm, rational way will allow your spouse to see the need for frugality. Even if it doesn’t and they insist on eating lunch out everyday, you can still save money on the things you can directly control. Every little bit really does help.

I buy things for myself because I didn’t have anything growing up.

It can be very tempting to indulge your inner child, especially if you had to go without a lot growing up. If your financial situation is causing you stress, or you are in danger of losing your house, or car, you have to stop indulging the child that you were so that you can take care of the adult that you are. Odds are pretty good that your indulgence helped get you into debt in the first place. In order to climb out of debt, you have to stop frivolous spending. Period.

I have reward points that will expire if I don’t use them.

I currently have a $10 reward check from a store credit card. It expires at the end of this month, if I don’t use it I lose that “free” $10. Last time I was in this particular store, I didn’t see a single item for less than fifteen dollars. If I insisted on using up my gift check, I could buy a fifteen dollar item and save ten bucks, so it would only cost me five dollars plus tax. On the other hand, I could not get anything and it would cost me zero dollars. It doesn’t cost me anything to let that check expire, but using it costs me money.

The trick to moving towards a frugal life style is being completely honest with yourself. Once you get past the excuses for spending, you have to learn to distinguish between needs and wants and between can’t and won’t. That is the part that really seems to be a barrier for people. We are constantly inundated with information telling us all the toys and gadgets we need. When you really get down to it, your needs are very little, and the vast majority of everything else you have is essentially a luxury. Once you wrap your head around how many luxuries you really have, it makes it a lot easier to cut back on the frivolous spending.

Conquering Mt. Hand-Me-Down

2010-07-23T15:03:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned previously, I have four kids. Keeping them in relatively clean clothing that are free of holes, in an attempt to make them not look like feral children can be quite a challenge. Even at discount stores clothing costs can add up, especially for kids who are going to out grow it soon. At least with my own clothes I can get several years of use in return for my investment. With the kids, I’m lucky if the clothes fit for a year. When you factor in stains and holes in the knees, we’re lucky if clothes last 6 months.

Hand me downs can really help stretch a family’s clothing budget. I mean really, you can’t beat FREE! While the price is certainly right, there is some time involved in making the most of donated clothing. I automatically accept all offers of hand me downs. Sometimes this can lead to an overwhelming stack of bags and boxes of clothes to sort through, especially if they aren’t dealt with right away and they begin to pile up.

Mt. Hand-Me-Down turned into a Mole Hill

Having a simple system helps make quick work of even the biggest hand me down pile up. The first step is to get rid of all the items that you can’t use. I usually go through the pile looking for anything that is too small, has holes I can’t or won’t repair, has significant stains or that I know my kids just will not wear. These go into a pile to donate to a thrift store or shelter. Items that were part of a set and are missing the top or bottom, if the single piece is difficult to match also go. In most cases, this thins the pile significantly.

Some might say that I am being too picky with something I got for free. The thing is, I may be trying to be frugal but I am also trying to reduce clutter, so even free items have to be worth the storage real estate. With that in mind, however, PLEASE don’t throw away usable clothing or other household items. Donate it. Whether it goes to a friend, a shelter, or to a charity that operates a thrift store, it doesn’t matter, just donate what you can. There is a Jewish teaching that every body needs to give to charity, even if the charity you give comes from charity you received from someone else. There is always someone worse off than you, and it doesn’t cost me anything to donate my unused stuff.


Storage labels for clear bins

Most of the time the usable hand me downs are a size or more too large for my kids to use right away, so they need to be stored. I use clear bins so that I can see the contents and reduce digging for a specific item later. I sort clothes by size and if there is enough of one size to fill more than one bin, I also sort by season. I write the size and season on a piece of paper and slide between the folded clothing and one end of the bin so that it can be read from the outside. I usually make a note of which child it will be for and an approximate date to pull it out of storage as well.

With a little effort, and the help of some clear bins and a permanent marker, those huge piles of donated clothes can quickly turn into an organized stack of usable, free clothing.

Get Organized Giveaway opportunity

2010-06-24T17:22:00.000-07:00

Living on a Dime is full of frugal living, and organizing tips. I visit the site often!

They are having a giveaway for a copy of Get Organized, Stay Organized by Christine Shuck. Check out the details here

Grocery Savings and RECIPES

2010-06-04T11:55:00.000-07:00

The original intent of this blog was for frugal living tips and ideas. I am by no means a frugal expert, but I have been working towards a more frugal lifestyle for about a year now. I believe getting organized is a major factor in living frugally. If your stuff is organized you save time by not having to endlessly search for the things you need and you save money by not buying duplicates of an item you can’t find. That said, updating about how I organized this or that in my house has gotten boring for me, so I can only imagine how boring it is for readers (both of them.) With that in mind, I have decided to skip some organization conversion chronicling and move on to some of the money saving tips I have been using.

Like many families, groceries are one of our biggest expenses. At the beginning of the year, my grocery budget was just about equal to my rent budget. This is due in part to a ridiculously low rent payment, and our grocery budget does include non-food items like diapers, paper goods, cleaning supplies etc. but it still makes for a very large grocery bill. Over the past few months, we have managed to cut $100-$150 out of our grocery spending each month. Of course, so far, NONE of this extra cash has been applied toward reducing our debt because the house and cars seem to sense that we have some extra and greedily find ways to use it up. While it is frustrating that we haven’t been able to apply the extra money toward paying off debt, at least we had the cash to pay for repairs and didn’t have to go deeper into debt to pay for them.

The very first thing to address when trying to cut down food expenses is waste. In my home I see a few types of food waste.

1. Food going bad and having to be thrown away before it gets used.
2. Kids throwing half of their meal away
3. Parents (that’s me) eating twice as much as we need to feel satisfied

Issue number one can be prevented by keeping better tabs on what we have in the pantry and refrigerator and occasionally planning a meal around an ingredient that is about to expire. I have also found that vegetables that have wilted to a point where I wouldn’t serve them fresh can often still be used to make broth. This can apply to freezer burned veggies as well. Milk that is past drinkability can still be used for cooking and baking and can even be used as a substitute for buttermilk in recipes. Of course sometimes food is too far past its prime to be salvaged no matter what you were going to use it for. If your milk resembles yogurt, I wouldn’t recommend making pancakes with it. When we do have produce or bread go past all hope of salvage, it goes in the compost pile which then helps fertilize our garden, so at least it isn’t a complete waste.

Issues two and three can be handled the same way, portion control. Portion control is probably the thing that saves me the most money on groceries. I used to take a recipe meant to serve four and automatically double it to feed my family of six. This wouldn’t be a big deal if we had two portions left over for lunch the next day, but we didn’t. Either I would give the kids large portions and half of it would get thrown away, or we would eat all of it, sometimes even after we were full. Now I either increase a recipe just enough for six, or I prepare it for four and add an extra side to our meal to make sure everybody gets enough to eat. If I do prepare enough for 8, I try to pack up 2 portions for lunches before I serve everybody. I give everybody small portions that are less than I think they will eat. That way if they aren’t hungry (rare), or don’t really like it (less rare), there isn’t as much waste.

Portion control can not only cut down on waste, but it can save money by stretching your food supply. The biggest example of this is meat. Americans as a whole eat WAY more meat than we actually need. If I am using boneless skinless chicken that needs to be cut up and added to a soup or casserole, I will usually use just one breast for the entire meal. If I am serving chicken breast as a main dish by itself, I will use no more than 4 (sometimes even 3) to feed the whole family. Usually for this type of meal, however, I use thighs and legs and each person just gets one piece. Where I am really able to stretch my budget is with ground meat. We pretty much only buy ground turkey, but it would work with beef too. We get a 5lb chub of ground turkey each month. Using my 12 inch sauté pan, I cook the whole batch using dried minced onion, garlic powder, season salt, and paprika as a general seasoning. I then divide the cooked meat into 12 portions and seal it up using my food saver and throw it in the freezer. Once sealed, I spread the meat out in the bag to make as thin of a package as possible. This way it is not only easier to stack and store, but it also defrosts much faster. Each one is less than ½ a pound, but it still manages to be plenty for most meals. Because the meat is already cooked it saves me time in the kitchen during the hectic dinner hour. We use these mini-portions in spaghetti, for casseroles, and in any recipes that call for a pound of ground beef.

As a busy mom, I am a big fan of the one dish meal, whether it is a stir-fry a casserole or whatever. I almost never buy things like Hamburger Helper® or similar boxed meals, but I found a recipe for Hamburger Buddy that is essentially a homemade version that is fairly simple to make and is much healthier. Of course, I used turkey instead of beef and I used one of my mini portions rather than a pound. The recipe calls for a food processor to finely chop the veggies. This works well for hiding vegetables from picky eaters, but I have also made the recipe by roughly chopping everything with my Pampered Chef ® Food Chopper. It wasn’t as sneaky, but it tasted just as good. My kids really liked it and it has turned into a very adaptable recipe.

You can make many variations of this recipe with the following formula:
1 lb ground meat*
3-6 cups vegetables
4 cups liquid (broth, water or a combination)
2 cups dry pasta (small pasta works best. My favorites are shells and elbow)
Seasoning
Thickener (I have used ¼ cup sour cream, cheese, and flour or cornstarch mixed with a couple ounces of reserved broth)
One of my family’s favorite of these adaptations has been dubbed Cheeseburger Buddy. I don’t measure ingredients unless I am following someone else’s recipe, so I am guestimating on all of these measurements.

1 lb ground turkey or beef*
2 cloves garlic, pressed
1 small onion, diced
1 15 oz can petite diced tomatoes, undrained
1 2 lb. bag frozen chopped broccoli
4 cups chicken, beef or vegetable broth
2 cups whole wheat shells or elbow macaroni
½ cup shredded cheddar cheese
2 slices American cheese
¼ cup sour cream

In a large sauté pan, brown the ground meat with the garlic and onion until there is no pink left. Drain fat. Add can of tomatoes, and broth and noodles. Bring to a boil. Cover, reduce heat to medium and cook, stirring occasionally until pasta is partially cooked but not yet tender. About 5 minutes. Add frozen broccoli, Stir to distribute, cover and cook another 3-5 minutes until pasta is tender. Add cheeses and sour cream and stir until cheeses melt and create a sauce. 1-2 minutes. Serves 6.

*I use one of my mini-portions of ground turkey

If Loving Lists is Wrong (Then I Don't Wanna Be Right)

2010-03-08T10:04:00.000-08:00

I am a bad blogger. It seems the more I have going on, the more I have to blog about, BUT the less time I have to blog.

As I have mentioned before, my biggest hurdle to getting organized is the “doing” part. I can plan with the best of them, but getting off my butt to DO something is a bit of a challenge. In my latest attempt to overcome this shortcoming, I took a page from some of the budget making articles I have read. Just as tracking your spending can help you identify where you are over spending, and how much money you really have, I figured that making a schedule could give me a similar insight into my time. In all honesty, this endeavor probably began as yet another way to procrastinate, but in the end it really did help me.

I laid out my schedule in half-hour increments starting at 6 am and ending at 10 pm. I don’t generally get up at 6 am, but is a goal, so I started with that. I made columns for each day of the week. Next, I filled in parts of my day that are regular, like getting the kids off to school, Girl Scout meetings, and such. Once all of that was filled in, I filled in household jobs that should get done on a daily or weekly basis, but usually get neglected like laundry, emptying the dishwasher and tidying the front rooms. Now I had a schedule that accommodated all of the family’s activities and allowed time for general household maintenance. When I saw that there was still a LOT of available time, I filled in slots to work on bigger projects and built in a little “me time.” Now I could really see how much time I had available and how much I had been wasting. In case you haven’t noticed, I am a big fan of lists. I made a checklist for the next day of all the things I wanted to accomplish. Having that visual guide really helped. I managed to check off all the items on my list! I now try to make a checklist everyday. I sometimes skip it and on those days I definitely get less accomplished. Some days I don’t get everything done, either because I got to ambitious with my goals, or I wasted too much time. I just put unfinished tasks onto the next day’s list and move on.

The first week I used it, my new system helped me get 100% caught up on the laundry. Everything was clean, folded and put away. That had never happened before! Usually, if all the laundry is clean, there are 4 or 5 baskets of unfolded laundry on the couch, which then ends up on the floor where it gets mixed back in with the dirty laundry. I have also finally managed to get the linen closet organized. I got tired of risking a towel avalanche every time I took a shower. As it turns out, you can get much more space if the towels and sheets are folded and stacked rather than just crammed in. Pulling out the crib bedding we haven’t had a use for in almost a year didn’t hurt either.

Last week, I had a couple of really productive days. I did 3-4 loads of laundry, made bread, dealt with Girl Scout cookie stuff, mended a bunch of pants, did a couple organizing projects, made laundry soap etc, etc. By the end of the day I was so tired, but really excited about everything I got done. If I keep this up, my house might start looking presentable!

I am almost done boring you now. I just wanted to mention that I got a new e-book on saving money on groceries. That is our biggest budget category after rent, unless you count all the debt payments as one. But unlike rent and debt payments it is possible to lower the grocery bill so I am willing to try anything to knock it down a little. I will let you know how it goes once I get a chance to give it a try.

The Laundry room

2010-01-21T13:51:00.000-08:00

Working through two days of Thanksgiving break, we were able to clear and condense enough stuff in the garage to set up my new sewing space. In the process I re-discovered no fewer than 8 plastic bins full of various fabrics I had purchased on clearance and then never got around to using. Now I can add more projects to the To Do List.

With a sewing space carved out, I got to work on the flannel pajamas for the kids. The plan for this year was to make jammies, as usual, and then make fleece hoodies for my kids and four other kids on our list. I was determined this year to not let the household stuff go by the wayside. While I was spending the bulk of my day at the sewing machine, I made sure to wash at least one load of laundry and to fold and put away as many loads as I washed each day, so that it didn’t pile up. I didn’t make any progress on the house, but at least it wasn’t getting worse.

Once the pajamas were completed, I only had a few days left to finish the hoodies. I started to get really stressed out from the pressure to finish. Mike saw the stress I was under and he suggested that I skip the hoodies and we buy some gifts instead. I argued that we couldn’t afford it and it would be a waste of the money I had already spent on fabric.

After some back and forth, I realized that there was no way I was going to get the sewing done in time. The fleece fabric could be saved for next year’s gifts. I had purchased extra flannel at the store to get ahead on next year as well since Chanukah starts on December first in 2010, so this would allow me to get a head start. We did have to spend more money on gifts than we had planned, but in this case, the trade off for my sanity was well worth it. We set a budget and hit every discount store in the area. We were able to come in under (the newly set) budget and I didn’t have to spend the entire holiday season in the garage. An added bonus was that I didn’t spend so much time sewing that I got burned out, so I am actually looking forward to some more projects! All in all, I am counting this as a success, even if I didn’t reach my intended goal.

After the holidays, we continued to work on the garage. We received some cash as a gift, and I used part of it to get some more clear plastic bins for storing stuff. They are always on sale after Christmas, so I got several 54 qt bins for $3.00 each. So far I have only used one of them but there is plenty of stuff still to be sorted out there, so I am glad I stocked up.

I also picked up some heavy duty larger bins for the laundry room area. These ones are not clear because the lids don’t go on them, so I can see what is inside. I now have 5 bins in my laundry room area. Clothes that need special attention (stain treating, mending etc.) and the ever present single sock collection both get kept in old broken laundry hampers. In a shallow plastic bin I place parts of outfits or sets that are missing their mates. The 3 new large bins store the hand me downs, one for clothes going to my own kids, one for clothes going to friends, and one for donating to charity.

A major part of my plan for the laundry room was to get the folding table cleared off so that I could actually fold the clothes out there. The plan is to eliminate the ever present basket of clean laundry waiting to be folded on the couch. Not only did we get the table cleared, but I also laid some tile on the surface to make it easy to wipe off. I just got some really cheap peel and stick stuff, so the whole thing took less than 30 minutes. The bins allow me to sort through items as they come out of the dryer, and prevent that too small shirt from cycling through the laundry 50 times because SOMEBODY keeps throwing it on the floor. Using the folding table means that clothes don’t even come in the house unless they are folded and ready to be put away. Plus, now that I have a system, I can easily patch a pair of pants while I am waiting for the dryer to finish. So far the new set up is working great, and it has cut way down on rewashing clean clothes because they ended up on the floor.

Up next: The Master Bedroom

Off track, but still going forward

2009-12-02T23:19:00.000-08:00

I realize that having not updated in over a month, especially after my pity party last post, makes it seem that I have indeed given up. Rest assured that is not the case. Mostly, I have just been busy trying to tread water. The day to day tasks of laundry, meal prep, and kid activities have taken up most of my time. I have not made a whole lot of forward progress on Project Better Mom, but I haven’t back slid either. At this point, I am counting that as a win.

I recently realized that the order I had listed my projects needed to be updated. While the kitchen is important, now that the counters were cleared, the chaos hidden behind closed cabinets could wait. When we moved into this house, the plan was to have the laundry get washed and folded in the laundry room (novel idea, I know) so that it would only enter the house when it was ready to be put away. Due to the way we were not able to properly unpack when we first moved in, it didn’t happen. The folding table is stacked with boxes of craft items. In order to keep the never ending stream of laundry from taking over our living space, the laundry room area needed to be rescued.

I have found that it is important to be flexible on these things. As you go about your day to day life, you often discover that things you thought were really important might need to take a back seat to other things. It’s cool, adjust and move on.

The laundry room is a trickier task than the kitchen. It involves heavy boxes and high shelves. I could do it by myself, but it will be a lot easier if I have Mike’s help. Guess what we have scheduled for Thanksgiving vacation?

In the mean time, I am again focused on just keeping my head above water at home. This mostly involves trying to stay on top of the laundry.

Last week I had an unexpectedly productive day. We buy lunch snacks like crackers and cookies in big boxes and then I package them into serving sizes myself. While serving the little girls their lunches, I noticed the new boxes of crackers and cookies that needed to be packaged up. I grabbed the sandwich baggies and the cereal containers in which I store the snacks and sat down at the table to get to work. Once I finished packaging, I went to put the containers back into the pantry. Lo’ and behold, there was no room for neither the containers filled with pre-portioned baggies nor the extras needing to be packaged.

I cleared off the offending shelf and reorganized its contents. I discovered several empty Tupperware containers in the back. Now I could actually properly store the 3 kinds of flour Mike brought home last week. After a bit of shifting and transferring I had successfully created a baking section in the pantry. Placing the snacks on the shelf along with peanut butter and tuna created a lunch section. Now I had one neat tidy shelf in an otherwise messy pantry. I just kept going. When I got to the top shelf, I decided that it was time to install shelf paper. The shelves were previously lined with that cushy stuff that prevents sliding. I needed to be able to slide stuff back on the shelf. Fortunately, I had several rolls of adhesive shelf paper in the garage. Before I knew it, the pantry had been reorganized.

I moved on to the cabinet above the pantry. We mostly use this cabinet to store bulk items that don’t get used frequently. I discovered some bulk spice containers that often get forgotten because they were stored at the back of this high shelf. This led to re-purposing the cabinet closest to the stove as a spice cabinet. Now all of my spices, along with cooking oils, and sauces like Worcestershire and soy are conveniently stored right next to the stove. I was able to move the turntable that sat on the counter up into this cabinet as well, giving me another counter surface as well.

So, in the month plus since my last update, I bumped pantry and cabinets down on my master list in favor of laundry room. I then completed reorganizing the pantry anyway. In the end a project got finished and crossed off the list, so WOO HOO!

I quit?

2009-10-21T10:51:00.000-07:00

And now I have reached the part of my quest where I give up.

I had just spent the better part of two days working on cleaning and organizing. I am very aware of the fact that there is a LOT more ahead of me. The clean shiny surface of my newly organized counter tops was helping me stay motivated to finish the task. After dinner, I left the house to visit a friend. When I left, there was an hour and a half until bedtime, and the girls had just finished their bath.

I came home late and headed straight down the hall. I peeked into my room to find my husband, Mike, hunched over asleep at the computer. I continued to the laundry room to start a load of the kids’ uniforms for school the next day. When I returned to the bedroom, the hubs was awake, and in the process of getting ready for bed. We chatted a bit, and I asked him if he could transfer the load of laundry to the dryer when he got up in the morning. He said, “Of course” and we headed to bed.

In the morning, I woke up just before Mike headed out for work. On my way out to the front room I was greeted by my early birds, Mimi and Olivia. I shuffled into the kitchen to discover a sink full of dirty dishes, and a dishwasher full of more dirty dishes. It was picture day at Mimi’s school, so I sighed in frustration and got busy getting her started on her day. Once the little girls were having breakfast, I went to wake up my older daughter. I noticed that I could not hear the dryer running. Sure enough, Mike had forgotten to put the kids’ uniforms into the dryer. With only 50 minutes until their ride to school arrived, I was not confident that the clothes would dry in time. I made sure to clear the lint trap and got the dryer started.

I made another attempt to wake up the older kids, and checked on the younger ones at the breakfast table. After washing hands and faces, I started getting Mimi dressed. The older kids were still lying in bed, but a final, much louder wake up call got them up and moving. I assigned my oldest with the task of serving up breakfast for herself and her brother, while I started the daily drama of brushing Mimi’s hair. After much crying and protest, Mimi was ready for school and looking appropriately adorable for her picture. At this point, with 30 minutes until the carpool arrived, I remembered that I had not made the kids’ lunches the night before. I rushed into the kitchen to quickly throw together some sandwiches. I finished the lunches in a mere 5 minutes.

Urging the kids to finish breakfast, I went to the laundry room to check on the progress of the load in the dryer. Finally! Something was working in my favor. The laundry was dry, or at least it was close enough. I grabbed an outfit for each kid and went back out to the front. After repeated reminders and urges to hurry, the kids managed to brush their teeth, get dressed and brush their hair. The carpool for the older kids and the bus for Mimi arrived just as I handed out the lunches. After another burst of activity getting everybody in their respective rides, I carried Olivia back inside and collapsed on the couch.

I haven’t even had my coffee yet.

I was frustrated. I was angry. I was feeling, once again, that nothing I did mattered. Why should I bother? It just gets undone anyway. I was knee deep into a pity party of epic proportions. I had a cup of coffee, or three, and started to feel a bit better. Not do the damn dishes better, but make a loaf of challah and a pan of lasagna better. By the afternoon, a sudden unexplainable wave of exhaustion hit me, so when Mike got home I went to lie down.

When I woke up from my nap, Mike had done all of the dishes and set the table for dinner. Have I mentioned that my husband is awesome? I realized that this process is going to take time for all of us. I can’t do this all by myself, but I can’t expect my family to suddenly have good habits just because I want them to. If I give up now how will they learn? (Oy, that sounds so cheesetastic!) I can’t give up just because one day went badly.

Onward.

Easier Said Than Done

2009-10-17T13:35:00.000-07:00

I am not a naturally organized or neat person. Like, really not. I have friends who are inherently tidy. I have family that border on compulsive about it. For me, though, it is a constant uphill battle. I am great at the planning stage of cleaning and organizing. I excel at the prioritizing, the list making and the diagram drawing. It is the doing and follow through that always get me. In one of my previous attempts at not being a slob, I purchased some books on organizing. I came across one of them recently and of course I figured that reading about how to organize counts towards my effort to becoming organized.

As suggested in the book, I wrote down what I wanted to accomplish and why. I then made a list, in priority order, of the areas in my home that needed work.

My Master List:

1. Kitchen-it is the major center of activity in my house, and being able to cook meals quickly and easily is the key to our debt reduction plan. It is easier and more appealing to cook in a clean well organized kitchen.
2. Mail Center-a major source of clutter, and relatively quick to fix.
3. Master Bedroom-currently doubles as our office, so it is full of piles of paper and other clutter. Not exactly conducive to restful sleep.
4. Garage-not only contains storage, but is also our laundry room and will hopefully have a craft/sewing area for me and a place to set up our underused treadmill. Having this area organized will aid us in keeping the rest of the house neat.
5. The Kids’ Rooms-All three are a mess. They have inadequate storage for toys, leading to lost and broken parts.
6. Front Room-this room is low priority because it currently doesn’t have much in it and sorting out the rest of the house will get the bulk of this room sorted as well.
7. Patio-We hope to eventually create a welcoming outdoor seating area in which to enjoy barbecues and summer evenings.

Now that I have my first target, I need to figure out what I want to do in there. I tried to break my kitchen issues down into the logical areas that needed work, and again listed them in priority order. Under each area I also wrote down the key elements I wanted to fix or centers I wanted to create as well.

My Abbreviated Kitchen List:

1. Counter tops
2. Cabinets
3. Pantry
4. Fridge
5. Freezer
6. Big Freezer (in the garage, but included here because it is essentially and extension of the kitchen)

Starting with the counter tops because it is the main work area, and has the biggest visual impact in the kitchen, I thought about what things actually justified taking up valuable counter real estate, things that get used almost daily. These are the things I came up with.

1. Coffee Center-coffee pot, coffee canister, filters, sweetener, etc.
2. Canisters-flour, sugar, etc.
3. Spices- I have a turntable with the most frequently used ones next to the stove.
4. Small Appliances- toaster oven, can opener
5. Homework Center-I made an area for all of the supplies the kids need to do their homework. Each child has a box with pencils, crayons, scissors, glue stick etc. And I also set up an area for paper and extra supplies, and a place for all of the papers and forms they bring home from school.

The reading of the organizing book and coming up with the plan above took a day. I don’t mean that it took a whole day to accomplish it, but that that was what I accomplished that day. The next day I decided to get started on the actual work part. I looked at how I needed to accomplish the Counter Top step.

1. Wash and put away dishes.
2. Do DDD. Armed with 3 containers, Dispose, Donate, and Distribute to other areas of the house, clear off the counter surfaces. This saves time by not walking down the hall every time I find an item that belongs in another room. For the kitchen, the donate bin actually held recyclables.
3. Wipe down all surfaces.
4. Set up my centers from above list.

And that’s as far as I got. I spent the remainder of the day trying to keep my youngest daughter from removing all of her clothes, (diaper included) every 10 minutes.

Each new day is a new opportunity to do better (barf) so I set to work. Fortunately, it was warm enough out that I didn’t need to concern myself too much with Olivia’s state of dress. I figured it would take between 2 and 21/2 hours to do what I wanted with the counter tops.

As I worked I jotted down things I had overlooked in my planning. Things like the need for a Phone Center. Basically, just a notepad and pen holder placed near the phone, a simple, but necessary thing. Cleaning the stove top took much longer than I had intended, and to be honest, it still isn’t as clean as I would like. There is a lot of really baked on crud around the burners that I haven’t figured out how to remove. After an hour of soaking and scrubbing and soaking again, I had to move on. When I got to the Spices, I decided that I actually wanted them in the cupboard instead of on the counter top. I gave the turntable a wipe down and noted the change on my list. In the end, it took me 4 hours to do the job. Actually, it took me 4 hours until I was too pooped to do any more. The job itself was almost finished. Once I sat down, I wrote a new list. This one was of all the things I still needed to do before this job was truly finished.

1. Homework Center-Find a storage solution for the forms and flyers that need to be kept temporarily. (Magnetic file pocket on the side of the fridge?)
2. Phone Center-add a note pad
3. Distribute Bin- finish emptying it.

My feet hurt.

Identifying the problem

2009-10-15T10:43:00.000-07:00

My journey to becoming Better Mom began back in April, when I was trying to pay bills. I had forgotten, yet again, about some check or transaction, and our account had overdrawn. Of course, 5 transactions cleared after the overdraft, so we had about $140 in overdraft fees. This was the third month in a row that this had happened, and losing $100 to $200 in fees was not an uncommon occurrence over the past year. Here we were, struggling to raise 4 kids on a single income, and my forgetfulness was costing us hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars.

So, we need more money. That’s simple enough, I’ll get a job. It has to be in the evening after my husband gets home because the cost of childcare would negate any income. It can’t go past 11pm because I still have to get up in the morning to get the older kids up and off to school, and then take care of the little ones all day. I can’t work on Monday because that is scout night. I can’t work on Wednesday because my husband has to go run the Hebrew school. I am willing to work weekends, but I teach a class Sunday morning so I can’t work before 2pm on Sundays. Let’s not forget that the economy is bad and I have been out of the work force for 9 years.

OK, not so simple. Maybe getting a job isn’t the way to go. What other options are there? I could work from home. I could, if I could find a work from home job that I am qualified to do that isn’t a scam and allows for a lot of schedule flexibility. A few too many hours spent with my good friend Google tells me this isn’t the way to go either. CRAP. What’s left? If I can’t earn more money we are just going to have to spend less. Desperate for help, I turn once again to the Google. I search “frugal living.” Several of the hits I get are ads selling a book or telling me that a mom “just like me” made 8 gazillionty dollars in 5 seconds with this secret, ORDER NOW!! But, amongst the garbage, were some helpful sites. On one, I read about a family who paid off a large amount of debt in a relatively short time on a small income. I immediately signed up for their newsletter, and I was on my way toward a frugal lifestyle.

Initially, a lot of the tips I read seemed like common knowledge. I mean cooking at home is cheaper than dining out, DUH. I was thinking, “We hardly ever dine out, I need to cut my grocery bill.” I was looking for ways to save on groceries because that is the biggest part of our budget after rent. We spent between $600 and $700 a month on things from the grocery store, including paper goods and cleaning supplies. Fortunately, I use Quicken to track our spending and keep a budget. Even though I am not as diligent about assigning spending categories as I could be, a quick search showed that we were actually spending an average of $300 a month on dining. Our occasional pizza or taco night combined with a few “run through the drive through because we are in a hurry” really does add up. I had no idea we were wasting so much money on these “cheap pick up meals.”

Step 1: Plan ahead to avoid the need for last minute take-out.

The thing about planning meals (or anything else, for that matter) ahead is that it requires organization. I am not organized. I am a mess. I am procrastination. I am don’t wanna. We were able to immediately make a big dent in our dining out habit (enough to put a stop to the overdraft cycle), but the mess in the kitchen and my tendency to procrastinate was making it difficult to progress further. My ultimate goal is to pay off our debt so that we can finally buy a house. Paying off the debt would require further budget cuts.

I started making our own laundry detergent. It is actually much easier than you might think. It takes less than half an hour, and the batch lasts us well over a month. I also started making our own dishwasher detergent, but unlike the laundry stuff which seemed to work about as well as the store bought, it wasn’t very effective and left a film on all the dishes. Baking Mix and several seasoning mixes are now all made at home in an effort to cut costs. While all of this is great, and has indeed helped, it is really just an effort to avoid what I know I need to do.

Step 2: Get organized.

It Begins

2009-10-14T22:28:00.000-07:00

I hate the idea of a “Super Mom.” That we, as women, must have a successful career, an organized and beautiful home, serve nutritious home cooked meals and volunteer our time with the PTA, scouts, etc. all while being gorgeous and endlessly patient blah, blah, blah. It is yet another ridiculous standard unto which we hold ourselves. Sure, a few women might be able to manage this, but there are a few women who actually look like supermodels too. For the rest of us, it is just another thing we can’t quite accomplish, and another way to feel not quite good enough.

On the surface I pretend to be Super Mom. I teach a pre-school class at our synagogue once a week, I lead a Girl Scout troop with 20 members. I watch my friend’s son after pre-school twice a week. I cook 95% of our family dinners etc, etc. It sounds like I do a lot and I tend to play that up when I catch up with family and friends. In reality, I am not Super Mom; I am not even a Middle of the Road Mom. I am a Slacker Mom. My house is a mess. We have a huge pile of debt that doesn’t even include a mortgage. Everything is unorganized. We moved a little over a year ago, and we still have boxes waiting to be unpacked. I spend an embarrassing amount of time not doing anything of value. A large chunk of my day is spent on the sofa, on my laptop, playing games or posting on message boards. I often feel like I am useless. I am doing everything at the last minute and am always stressed out. I yell at my kids way more than I should. It is time to fix it. I don’t want to be Super Mom; I just want to be Better Mom.