May Challenge-Getting the kids to help!

So, April’s challenges didn’t go so well. I pretty much failed at all of them. I did mostly keep up with my original March goals, but even that doesn’t feel like an accomplishment. It just seems like no matter what I do, it doesn’t last long. I don’t want to get too far into pity party mode here, but there are literally times when I clean a room and then leave it for a minute, and when I come back, there is a whole new mess. It just feels so futile, like no matter what I do, it won’t make a difference. It makes me want to just give up, I mean, what’s the point of just treading water all of the time?

Then I realize that giving up certainly isn’t going to solve anything, but if my family isn’t helping, there is NO way I am ever going to be able to get the house in order. Getting the kids on board is not going to be easy. They have bad habits too, and changing their habits is going to take a lot of effort, both from the kids and from my husband and I. This is my May challenge, to get the kids to pull their weight.

A friend of mine made a chore chart for her three kids, and has had a lot of success with that. She has broken the house into three areas, and her kids rotate through the jobs, so that they aren’t doing the same job every day. If one of the kids doesn’t do their chore one day, the next day they have to do the previous day’s chore and the current day’s chore, which means one of their siblings doesn’t have to do a chore that day.

Initially, I thought I could use her system with a few minor adjustments. It became obvious pretty quickly that her chart, while great for her kids ages 12, 11, and 9, would not work for my kids ages 10, 7, 6, and 3. I need to assign specific chores to each child based on age and ability.  What I could borrow from her, however, was the idea that failure to complete chores would result in clear, consistent consequences. 

I have made 3 checklists for the kids:

The Morning/Bedtime list for the tasks they have to do to get ready for school and get ready for bed.

 The After School list has their daily chores and tasks.

 The Sunday list has their bigger once a week chores, including step by step lists for each of those chores.

The lists are color coded so the kids can identify their own list easily, also because I am really anal retentive about things that don’t matter.I printed them out and put each one in a sheet protector so that they can use a china marker to check off the list each day, and then it can be wiped off and used again. There is an extra copy of each kids' Sunday chores in their room, so that they can see what they need to do without fighting over the list.

The kids’ role in this challenge is, of course to do the items on their lists. My (and my husband’s) role is to remind them to do their chores, as many times as necessary, without yelling, and to establish a set routine to keep things consistent. I, of course, have to remember that even though it might be quicker, easier, and done better if I do it myself, they have to learn how to help out around the house. This will be a particularly tricky challenge, because I have  enough trouble motivating myself, and now I have to motivate 4 other people, BUT, if I can succeed the reward will be great.

Long Term Goals

The whole reason we started working on getting out of debt was because we really want to be able to own a home. When we first got married, house prices were pretty low, but my husband’s job was not very secure. He was teaching, but he was on an emergency credential which meant that he was almost guaranteed to be laid off at the end of every school year. We didn’t want to commit to a mortgage when we didn’t know what our income would be like in a year or so. Once he was finally fully credentialed, we didn’t even consider trying to buy, because the house prices in our area were so ridiculously over inflated. We were starting to feel like we would never be home owners. Fortunately for us (but unfortunately for many recent home buyers,) the housing bubble burst and prices started coming down. Unfortunately, home ownership had seemed so out of reach for so long, we had not been preparing for it. We had too much debt and no savings. The down side for us of the bubble bursting is that home loans are much harder to come by now. Your credit has to be good, not just OK, and there is practically no such thing as 100% financing anymore. I knew what we had to do, we just hadn’t actually been doing it. When we got serious about getting out of debt, I started this blog.

It was really frustrating at first. We were paying well over the minimum payment on our highest rate debt, and paying the minimum or just a little over the minimum on everything else. The balances never seemed to go down. When we would make some headway, the car would break down or some other expense would set us back. We were still relying on our credit cards too often. On top of that, our debt reduction plan included a program to pay off student loans for teachers who work in low income schools. If we got the loan paid down to $17,500, the program would pay off the rest, once my husband finished his 5^th year teaching at a qualifying school. This year is my husband’s 7^th at his current school, and his 5^th as a fully credentialed teacher at that school, so come June, the rest of his student loan would be paid off. Or so we thought. When Mike applied for forbearance on his remaining loan so that we could apply that payment elsewhere while we waited for his anniversary date to roll around, we were told that he did not qualify for the program because his first student loan was issued 6 days before the window for this program began. Six stupid days. In the three years that we had been communicating with them while we paid his debt down to below the $17,500 cut off, no one at this program had ever bothered to mention that we didn’t qualify. We had been counting on that debt to essentially eliminate itself, and now we would be paying it off ourselves. It was a big blow to our morale.

Things got a bit better when I checked in on a Gifttrust I had. We decided to cash it out, and it gave us almost $3000 extra. Instead of using the money to buy things we wanted, we set some aside to get our van fixed because it was having some issues, put $1000 into our savings account so that future unexpected expenses wouldn’t have to be charged, and sent $1200 to our highest rate card.  Having that emergency fund really, really helps. Now I know that we can get the car fixed or whatever without making our debt situation worse.

We just got done filing our taxes and we are expecting a nice refund.  Even before the return was filed, we had already virtually spent pretty much all of it. We will replenish our emergency fund, and but an extra $500 in it, to make it a total of $1500. Some of it will be used for Mike to be able to attend his sister’s wedding in Texas. A large chunk of it will be used to pay off a credit card. A couple of hundred dollars will be set aside for me to attend a Women’s retreat in October. If there is anything left after that, it will be applied to the debt as well. After we figured all of that out, I took a fresh look at our debt reduction plan. If we are able to stay on track, we will be completely free of credit card debt by October. That still leaves us with Mike’s student loan, and another loan that is the result of a previous attempt at debt consolidation, but all of the really bad, higher interest, and rechargeable stuff will be gone.

Originally, our plan was to completely pay off all of the debt, and then start saving for a down payment, and THEN buy a house. After our car got broken into twice in 2 months, we realized we have to get out of this neighborhood as soon as we can. It was once a great neighborhood, but has been steadily declining for years. Now, sirens and the sounds of the police helicopter are normal, and we need to get out before it gets much worse.  Using a bit of online research, I found that even with those last two debts, we will be in a pretty good position to get a home loan once the credit cards are paid. That is, if we can come up with a down payment. In order to speed up our timeline, we have decided that in October, when the credit cards are paid off, instead of applying that payment to the next debt, we are going to put it into savings for a down payment. We will continue to pay the minimum payments (or slightly more) on the remaining two debts, but we won’t be paying extra until we have accumulated a good down payment. Our tax refund for next year (if we receive one) will also go towards a down payment. If we are able to stay on track, we should hopefully be ready to start buying a house in a year. Our goal is to be moving by early summer 2012.