I quit?

And now I have reached the part of my quest where I give up.

I had just spent the better part of two days working on cleaning and organizing. I am very aware of the fact that there is a LOT more ahead of me. The clean shiny surface of my newly organized counter tops was helping me stay motivated to finish the task. After dinner, I left the house to visit a friend. When I left, there was an hour and a half until bedtime, and the girls had just finished their bath.

I came home late and headed straight down the hall. I peeked into my room to find my husband, Mike, hunched over asleep at the computer. I continued to the laundry room to start a load of the kids’ uniforms for school the next day. When I returned to the bedroom, the hubs was awake, and in the process of getting ready for bed. We chatted a bit, and I asked him if he could transfer the load of laundry to the dryer when he got up in the morning. He said, “Of course” and we headed to bed.

In the morning, I woke up just before Mike headed out for work. On my way out to the front room I was greeted by my early birds, M and O. I shuffled into the kitchen to discover a sink full of dirty dishes, and a dishwasher full of more dirty dishes. It was picture day at M’s school, so I sighed in frustration and got busy getting her started on her day. Once the little girls were having breakfast, I went to wake up my older daughter. I noticed that I could not hear the dryer running. Sure enough, Mike had forgotten to put the kids’ uniforms into the dryer. With only 50 minutes until their ride to school arrived, I was not confident that the clothes would dry in time. I made sure to clear the lint trap and got the dryer started.

I made another attempt to wake up the older kids, and checked on the younger ones at the breakfast table. After washing hands and faces, I started getting M dressed. The older kids were still lying in bed, but a final, much louder wake up call got them up and moving. I assigned my oldest with the task of serving up breakfast for herself and her brother, while I started the daily drama of brushing M’s hair. After much crying and protest, M was ready for school and looking appropriately adorable for her picture. At this point, with 30 minutes until the carpool arrived, I remembered that I had not made the kids’ lunches the night before. I rushed into the kitchen to quickly throw together some sandwiches. I finished the lunches in a mere 5 minutes.

Urging the kids to finish breakfast, I went to the laundry room to check on the progress of the load in the dryer. Finally! Something was working in my favor. The laundry was dry, or at least it was close enough. I grabbed an outfit for each kid and went back out to the front. After repeated reminders and urges to hurry, the kids managed to brush their teeth, get dressed and brush their hair. The carpool for the older kids and the bus for M arrived just as I handed out the lunches. After another burst of activity getting everybody in their respective rides, I carried O back inside and collapsed on the couch.

I haven’t even had my coffee yet.

I was frustrated. I was angry. I was feeling, once again, that nothing I did mattered. Why should I bother? It just gets undone anyway. I was knee deep into a pity party of epic proportions. I had a cup of coffee, or three, and started to feel a bit better. Not do the damn dishes better, but make a loaf of challah and a pan of lasagna better. By the afternoon, a sudden unexplainable wave of exhaustion hit me, so when Mike got home I went to lie down.

When I woke up from my nap, Mike had done all of the dishes and set the table for dinner. Have I mentioned that my husband is awesome? I realized that this process is going to take time for all of us. I can’t do this all by myself, but I can’t expect my family to suddenly have good habits just because I want them to. If I give up now how will they learn? (Oy, that sounds so cheesetastic!) I can’t give up just because one day went badly.

Onward.