Identifying the problem

My journey to becoming Better Mom began back in April, when I was trying to pay bills. I had forgotten, yet again, about some check or transaction, and our account had overdrawn. Of course, 5 transactions cleared after the overdraft, so we had about $140 in overdraft fees. This was the third month in a row that this had happened, and losing $100 to $200 in fees was not an uncommon occurrence over the past year. Here we were, struggling to raise 4 kids on a single income, and my forgetfulness was costing us hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars.

So, we need more money. That’s simple enough, I’ll get a job. It has to be in the evening after my husband gets home because the cost of childcare would negate any income. It can’t go past 11pm because I still have to get up in the morning to get the older kids up and off to school, and then take care of the little ones all day. I can’t work on Monday because that is scout night. I can’t work on Wednesday because my husband has to go run the Hebrew school. I am willing to work weekends, but I teach a class Sunday morning so I can’t work before 2pm on Sundays. Let’s not forget that the economy is bad and I have been out of the work force for 9 years.

OK, not so simple. Maybe getting a job isn’t the way to go. What other options are there? I could work from home. I could, if I could find a work from home job that I am qualified to do that isn’t a scam and allows for a lot of schedule flexibility. A few too many hours spent with my good friend Google tells me this isn’t the way to go either. CRAP. What’s left? If I can’t earn more money we are just going to have to spend less. Desperate for help, I turn once again to the Google. I search “frugal living.” Several of the hits I get are ads selling a book or telling me that a mom “just like me” made 8 gazillionty dollars in 5 seconds with this secret, ORDER NOW!! But, amongst the garbage, were some helpful sites. On one, I read about a family who paid off a large amount of debt in a relatively short time on a small income. I immediately signed up for their newsletter, and I was on my way toward a frugal lifestyle.

Initially, a lot of the tips I read seemed like common knowledge. I mean cooking at home is cheaper than dining out, DUH. I was thinking, “We hardly ever dine out, I need to cut my grocery bill.” I was looking for ways to save on groceries because that is the biggest part of our budget after rent. We spent between $600 and $700 a month on things from the grocery store, including paper goods and cleaning supplies. Fortunately, I use Quicken to track our spending and keep a budget. Even though I am not as diligent about assigning spending categories as I could be, a quick search showed that we were actually spending an average of $300 a month on dining. Our occasional pizza or taco night combined with a few “run through the drive through because we are in a hurry” really does add up. I had no idea we were wasting so much money on these “cheap pick up meals.”

Step 1: Plan ahead to avoid the need for last minute take-out.

The thing about planning meals (or anything else, for that matter) ahead is that it requires organization. I am not organized. I am a mess. I am procrastination. I am don’t wanna. We were able to immediately make a big dent in our dining out habit (enough to put a stop to the overdraft cycle), but the mess in the kitchen and my tendency to procrastinate was making it difficult to progress further. My ultimate goal is to pay off our debt so that we can finally buy a house. Paying off the debt would require further budget cuts.

I started making our own laundry detergent. It is actually much easier than you might think. It takes less than half an hour, and the batch lasts us well over a month. I also started making our own dishwasher detergent, but unlike the laundry stuff which seemed to work about as well as the store bought, it wasn’t very effective and left a film on all the dishes. Baking Mix and several seasoning mixes are now all made at home in an effort to cut costs. While all of this is great, and has indeed helped, it is really just an effort to avoid what I know I need to do.

Step 2: Get organized.